i never update this. i should, but i am chronically unable to finish anything artistic.
i wish i would.

the wonderful dana-redde tagged me to reveal six weird things about myself. i have plenty of material to draw from, and am mentally altered at the moment.
so here we go:

1. i am hard to communicate with.
evidence:
i have illegible handwriting. am a bad mumbler that either talks in a low rumbly voice, or a voice that is still cracking. talk too softly on the phone. keep getting told by people that i talk with my attention and eyes on what appears to be an imaginary person next to them (seriously, i got this same thing twice yesterday).
i keep challenging myself to change things, so far i've not been all that successful.

2. i have a thing about eye contact.
i find it very, very overwhelming and unnerving.
i unconsciously, and with little exception, avoid making it. it is more like me to consciously choose to look you in the eyes, than to consciously choose to look away. the most comfortable, and for me effective, place to look when interacting with anyone has always been either the floor or the space directly next to you. it has driven my mother crazy my whole life. she is always commenting about it. like just now, she came in to talk to me about joining americorps, and got frustrated i wasn't looking at her face when answering.
the fact that fat beavers are on animal planet probably isn't helping either.

3. i am reduced to an excitable mass of girly noises and femaleness when i see a fat animal. i also start saying over and over again "look, it's fat." animals are an intense source of love for me. i want to try and rescue endangered ones someday.

4. i've spent the better part of the last 6 years in and out of inpatient wards, or in and out of surgery. and also, dealing with the weird shit that goes along with that.
part of me, for whatever reason, can't get past this.
life sometimes feels uncomfortable and hard to relate to since dealing with all this weirdness. trying to give up feeling paranoid about people's perceptions and reactions, let go of my "hush-hush" mindset.

5. i would go gay for anthony hopkins.
this is also something i feel i should stop being "hush hush" about.
but only if he wears the mask.

6. learning about the criminal mind, especially the history of serial killers in the world, is a hobby and passion of mine. i find there is never a good way to explain this to people.